Dating in 2016
My dating life has been by far the most interesting and the most comical part of my life. It has also been the biggest part of the pain I've experienced. I've been on some great dates, and some horrible dates, all in the span of 12 months. The year started off so promising. I thought I was going to be doing big things. Thought 2016 was going to be my year.
I had a date for my birthday, for the first time ever. It was unexpected but he was the perfect gentleman. Nothing I would have wanted if I was choosing for myself but much of what I wanted when we got to know each other. He was shorter than me. I'm 5'7 1/2" but I feel 6' and I guess when I wear heels I am technically at least 6'. But my point is that I feel tall and I don't want a man shorter than me. But this guy made me forget height. I thought it would be a group of folks just going to dinner, but it was only us. First he asked what I was wearing, later I would discover that he wanted to match his outfit to my style. He held all the doors for me, my car door, the door to the restaurant, all doors we encountered. And he pulled out my chair at the restaurant; I'm not sure that anyone does that anymore, but he did. Then when our food arrived and he blessed the food, I was hooked. He said a real prayer, not just something simple and elementary but something that said "I have a relationship with Christ, I know Him and He knows me". After the prayer, he had my attention. I no longer cared how tall he was, just that he must have been a member of some church somewhere, and that perhaps this was the ram in the bush my mother had always prayed for.
We talked for about 3 months after that night, and we seemed to grow closer. He talked about a future, about wanting me to come visit his church, about what it would be like when I became first lady at a church where he was ministering, things that made me think we were on a long term plan. But then he went on vacation. He went to Las Vegas. During the vacation we talked a little, but I guess I didn't realize that if I was really becoming part of his life, the vacation would not have been away from me. During the vacation we didn't talk as much as we had been, and after the vacation our conversations became less and less. He began to tell me that his schedule had picked up and he was busy. But increasingly, he became more and more busy and we finally just stopped talking. I guess what happens in Vegas really stays in Vegas. Maybe he's still there, I'm not sure.
I was hurt because I had really convinced myself this could be my forever.
My forever...the thing about that is, God revealed to me years ago someone to consider and even though short guy was wonderful, he wasn't who God revealed. Is that why it didn't work? I'm doubtful, but an interesting theory. But for now, let's continue this 2016 journey, shall we?
So no more short guy. I was hurt and not interested in dating. I thought maybe something was wrong with me for not seeing the end before it came. I worried that I had not judged things properly and had missed or ignored a lot of signs and probably shouldn't enter another relationship since I was apparently inept in the relationship department.
Well, the weather got warmer and I got several calls from a new guy. I resisted for about a month, maybe two, but he persisted. Finally, I agreed to talk to him. I was very cautious and he was just as persistent. We didn't live in the same state, but it seemed doable if we decided to try and make a go of it.
As we got to know each other Mr. Persistent became less appealing. He was the primary caregiver for a lot of people, which originally seemed sweet, but he wasn't proactive at times when I felt he should be. For example, we would make tentative plans and something would inevitably come up with his family but he would never say he wasn't going to meet me until I asked on the day of the supposed meeting. I understand being responsible for family, and I understand having a lot going on, but the fact that he couldn't give me the courtesy of the phone call or a text ahead of time felt rude and inconsiderate. His selfish nature was frustrating to me. Three times we were supposed to meet and he didn't show up. And it didn't help that he was also short. But more than that each time he told me he liked me and wanted to get to know me I would ask him what he knew about me and what he liked but he had no clear response past my physical appearance.
I guess 2016 could have been the year I was cursed with a short man plague. Hahaha!
But seriously, toward the latter part of the year my niece asked me did I have a boyfriend. When a little child seems to think something is wrong with you, I can assure you it doesn't feel so good. But between her, and my eternal optimism I finally decided to try a dating app. The app I chose was not successful for me, although there were some nice guys there. I had several conversations with guys who seemed motivated to be in a relationship. I actually went out with one guy but alas, he didn't work out either. But I was not discouraged, I just figured I was getting closer and surely 2017 would be my year.
I had a date for my birthday, for the first time ever. It was unexpected but he was the perfect gentleman. Nothing I would have wanted if I was choosing for myself but much of what I wanted when we got to know each other. He was shorter than me. I'm 5'7 1/2" but I feel 6' and I guess when I wear heels I am technically at least 6'. But my point is that I feel tall and I don't want a man shorter than me. But this guy made me forget height. I thought it would be a group of folks just going to dinner, but it was only us. First he asked what I was wearing, later I would discover that he wanted to match his outfit to my style. He held all the doors for me, my car door, the door to the restaurant, all doors we encountered. And he pulled out my chair at the restaurant; I'm not sure that anyone does that anymore, but he did. Then when our food arrived and he blessed the food, I was hooked. He said a real prayer, not just something simple and elementary but something that said "I have a relationship with Christ, I know Him and He knows me". After the prayer, he had my attention. I no longer cared how tall he was, just that he must have been a member of some church somewhere, and that perhaps this was the ram in the bush my mother had always prayed for.
We talked for about 3 months after that night, and we seemed to grow closer. He talked about a future, about wanting me to come visit his church, about what it would be like when I became first lady at a church where he was ministering, things that made me think we were on a long term plan. But then he went on vacation. He went to Las Vegas. During the vacation we talked a little, but I guess I didn't realize that if I was really becoming part of his life, the vacation would not have been away from me. During the vacation we didn't talk as much as we had been, and after the vacation our conversations became less and less. He began to tell me that his schedule had picked up and he was busy. But increasingly, he became more and more busy and we finally just stopped talking. I guess what happens in Vegas really stays in Vegas. Maybe he's still there, I'm not sure.
I was hurt because I had really convinced myself this could be my forever.
My forever...the thing about that is, God revealed to me years ago someone to consider and even though short guy was wonderful, he wasn't who God revealed. Is that why it didn't work? I'm doubtful, but an interesting theory. But for now, let's continue this 2016 journey, shall we?
So no more short guy. I was hurt and not interested in dating. I thought maybe something was wrong with me for not seeing the end before it came. I worried that I had not judged things properly and had missed or ignored a lot of signs and probably shouldn't enter another relationship since I was apparently inept in the relationship department.
Well, the weather got warmer and I got several calls from a new guy. I resisted for about a month, maybe two, but he persisted. Finally, I agreed to talk to him. I was very cautious and he was just as persistent. We didn't live in the same state, but it seemed doable if we decided to try and make a go of it.
As we got to know each other Mr. Persistent became less appealing. He was the primary caregiver for a lot of people, which originally seemed sweet, but he wasn't proactive at times when I felt he should be. For example, we would make tentative plans and something would inevitably come up with his family but he would never say he wasn't going to meet me until I asked on the day of the supposed meeting. I understand being responsible for family, and I understand having a lot going on, but the fact that he couldn't give me the courtesy of the phone call or a text ahead of time felt rude and inconsiderate. His selfish nature was frustrating to me. Three times we were supposed to meet and he didn't show up. And it didn't help that he was also short. But more than that each time he told me he liked me and wanted to get to know me I would ask him what he knew about me and what he liked but he had no clear response past my physical appearance.
I guess 2016 could have been the year I was cursed with a short man plague. Hahaha!
But seriously, toward the latter part of the year my niece asked me did I have a boyfriend. When a little child seems to think something is wrong with you, I can assure you it doesn't feel so good. But between her, and my eternal optimism I finally decided to try a dating app. The app I chose was not successful for me, although there were some nice guys there. I had several conversations with guys who seemed motivated to be in a relationship. I actually went out with one guy but alas, he didn't work out either. But I was not discouraged, I just figured I was getting closer and surely 2017 would be my year.
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