Why I decided to Blog...Again
The church is great for a lot of things. You can find love, encouragement and support at the church. You can find purpose at the church. You can also find good people at the church. Unfortunately, because it is made of people, you can also find confusion, secrets and lies at the church.
Sometimes people are led to believe that just joining the church will solve all of their problems. While it is good to be optimistic, there are consequences that even the church cannot resolve. The fact is, some messes take a lot to get out of, some diseases are incurable and some consequences are a life sentence.
A friend recently gave me the best example as I detailed a situation that I am facing. She said the church doesn't tell you how to deal with or what to say in every circumstance. It's as if the church only prepares you for the perfect scenarios but not the what ifs. Perhaps some churches are different, but I understood her point because I grew up in a church that taught be obedient to parents, grow up, don't have sex until you get married, get married, have kids, raise a family and live a long happy life with lots of kids and grandkids. So that was the life expected to live.
I was supposed to live like a Norman Rockwell painting, white picket fence, kids, pets and the whole fantasy. In fact, I expected to be married between 25 and 30, I thought I would be a teacher so I could be home with my kids but my husband would be the primary breadwinner. And to be honest, the church didn't exactly prepare me for any other options. As the woman, I never expected to live alone and be responsible for all my bills. I certainly never planned to be a single female homeowner. I didn't expect to be in my 40s and never married, never had kids and possibly never going to have kids.
Now, to the defense of the church, it is possible that nobody talks about the adverse issues in life because they don't know what to say, or because they hope against all odds that you will never have to find out. Because again, the church is made up of people - parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles - people who want the best for you. The church is made of people who never wanted you to have to deal with kids who say they are homosexual, or teenage pregnancy, addiction, bullying, molestation and all the things that people deal with in 2017. So in some ways perhaps the church is ill-prepared for these issues. And perhaps the church leaders simply would rather shy away from these topics because they have feelings just like everyone else.
In order to heal the church, we have to begin to openly discuss these difficult issues and be transparent about the issues and the resolutions. So I will start with this blog. An open journal of my experience as a single woman. You may not like everything you read, but you don't have to like it, or agree with any of it as it is my experience, and solely mine. Some things I will share may be shocking, or some may think my feelings are silly. But my feelings, as my experiences, are mine, and they are valid. My point to sharing is to encourage someone, and hopefully to minister to someone who thinks they are alone.
Sometimes people are led to believe that just joining the church will solve all of their problems. While it is good to be optimistic, there are consequences that even the church cannot resolve. The fact is, some messes take a lot to get out of, some diseases are incurable and some consequences are a life sentence.
A friend recently gave me the best example as I detailed a situation that I am facing. She said the church doesn't tell you how to deal with or what to say in every circumstance. It's as if the church only prepares you for the perfect scenarios but not the what ifs. Perhaps some churches are different, but I understood her point because I grew up in a church that taught be obedient to parents, grow up, don't have sex until you get married, get married, have kids, raise a family and live a long happy life with lots of kids and grandkids. So that was the life expected to live.
I was supposed to live like a Norman Rockwell painting, white picket fence, kids, pets and the whole fantasy. In fact, I expected to be married between 25 and 30, I thought I would be a teacher so I could be home with my kids but my husband would be the primary breadwinner. And to be honest, the church didn't exactly prepare me for any other options. As the woman, I never expected to live alone and be responsible for all my bills. I certainly never planned to be a single female homeowner. I didn't expect to be in my 40s and never married, never had kids and possibly never going to have kids.
Now, to the defense of the church, it is possible that nobody talks about the adverse issues in life because they don't know what to say, or because they hope against all odds that you will never have to find out. Because again, the church is made up of people - parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles - people who want the best for you. The church is made of people who never wanted you to have to deal with kids who say they are homosexual, or teenage pregnancy, addiction, bullying, molestation and all the things that people deal with in 2017. So in some ways perhaps the church is ill-prepared for these issues. And perhaps the church leaders simply would rather shy away from these topics because they have feelings just like everyone else.
In order to heal the church, we have to begin to openly discuss these difficult issues and be transparent about the issues and the resolutions. So I will start with this blog. An open journal of my experience as a single woman. You may not like everything you read, but you don't have to like it, or agree with any of it as it is my experience, and solely mine. Some things I will share may be shocking, or some may think my feelings are silly. But my feelings, as my experiences, are mine, and they are valid. My point to sharing is to encourage someone, and hopefully to minister to someone who thinks they are alone.
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Thank you for reading. I hope you were entertained!