Survival of the Fittest
It is quite possible that I am the least competitive person ever. In competition, someone has to lose. sometimes things get ugly, sometimes people are rude or downright mean. I want my team to win, but I also want everyone to like me, and that’s not exactly the nature of competition.
The problem with being the type who wants to avoid competitions is that life is full of them; if I am honest, life is one big competition. From athletic contests and spelling bees to applications for college admissions or to jobs are essentially battles for a few coveted spots. And let’s not even talk about the competition involved in dating! Arranged marriages have given way to freedom of choice. People go out with lots of candidates to narrow down to THE ONE through a series of interactions. Men and women evaluate love interests based on all kinds of criteria for the supposed purpose of finding everlasting happiness. Inevitably, choosing a suitable mate creates competition among the candidates. Every person is keeping score of the players in their head so ultimately every person is competing for affection.
Last year I came to the conclusion that I hate dating. Why? Because dating = competition. First off, I don’t know how to lose because I haven’t done it much. That is to say, neither was I the best at everything I tried, nor did I always win, but I don’t have much experience in losing as it was either a win for me or everyone won.
But even greater than my lack of experience losing, is my fear of losing. My dating experiences thus far have frequently found me on the losing end of the situation. I have offered my all and been rejected; humiliated even. Alas, I have realized that dating boils down to survival of the fittest. But for me dating, in the age of social media and never-ending choices, is intimidating.
After thorough examination of my failed attempts at dating, I have made a declaration for 2018. As hard as it will be, I vow to say yes this year. Yes because God has not given me the spirit of fear, yes because I don’t want to be alone forever, yes because there are worse things than rejection, and yes because the reality is, as much as I am competing for a spot in his life, he is competing for a spot in mine!
I will say yes because I serve a God who wants to give me His very best but because of free will, God can only give me His best when I am ready and willing to receive it. But mostly I will say yes to a new perspective. Dating is a competition, but a little competition is healthy...at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I may not be the strongest yet, but I will survive.
The problem with being the type who wants to avoid competitions is that life is full of them; if I am honest, life is one big competition. From athletic contests and spelling bees to applications for college admissions or to jobs are essentially battles for a few coveted spots. And let’s not even talk about the competition involved in dating! Arranged marriages have given way to freedom of choice. People go out with lots of candidates to narrow down to THE ONE through a series of interactions. Men and women evaluate love interests based on all kinds of criteria for the supposed purpose of finding everlasting happiness. Inevitably, choosing a suitable mate creates competition among the candidates. Every person is keeping score of the players in their head so ultimately every person is competing for affection.
Last year I came to the conclusion that I hate dating. Why? Because dating = competition. First off, I don’t know how to lose because I haven’t done it much. That is to say, neither was I the best at everything I tried, nor did I always win, but I don’t have much experience in losing as it was either a win for me or everyone won.
But even greater than my lack of experience losing, is my fear of losing. My dating experiences thus far have frequently found me on the losing end of the situation. I have offered my all and been rejected; humiliated even. Alas, I have realized that dating boils down to survival of the fittest. But for me dating, in the age of social media and never-ending choices, is intimidating.
After thorough examination of my failed attempts at dating, I have made a declaration for 2018. As hard as it will be, I vow to say yes this year. Yes because God has not given me the spirit of fear, yes because I don’t want to be alone forever, yes because there are worse things than rejection, and yes because the reality is, as much as I am competing for a spot in his life, he is competing for a spot in mine!
I will say yes because I serve a God who wants to give me His very best but because of free will, God can only give me His best when I am ready and willing to receive it. But mostly I will say yes to a new perspective. Dating is a competition, but a little competition is healthy...at least that’s what I’m telling myself. I may not be the strongest yet, but I will survive.
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